Story editing home learning and spellings 13.01.12
13 Jan 2012 30 Comments
Here is the link to your home learning. Please make a comment on this post.
Also, here are your spellings for your test on Friday.
Badgers' Blog
from Barcombe School
from Barcombe School
13 Jan 2012 30 Comments
Here is the link to your home learning. Please make a comment on this post.
Also, here are your spellings for your test on Friday.
Anonymous
Jan 14, 2012 @ 11:39:12
My homework
Story 1 :
Very exciting
Different openers
More exciting punctuation
Story 2 :
Exciting punctuation
Good Adjectives
More, exciting connectives
Story 3 :
Different openers
Lots of punctuation
More excitement.
lily r.
badgerclass
Jan 14, 2012 @ 14:10:58
Well done for commenting on all three of the stories in a very clear and concise way. You have read them carefully and I am impressed with your ideas Lily.
lo
Jan 18, 2012 @ 15:55:44
Dear Mrs Beckwith
Thank you
lily r.
badgerclass
Jan 18, 2012 @ 20:51:47
You’re welcome, but what are you thanking me for?!
Ellen
Jan 14, 2012 @ 16:46:24
I am doing story 3
Good adjectives, different sentence starters, punctuation for excitement, speech is used, I liked the ending it is called a ‘cliff hanger’ what will happen next? the only thing that was a bit confusing was that I didn’t get that the kittens were telling the story to start with.from Ellen
badgerclass
Jan 14, 2012 @ 18:35:26
Excellent comment Ellen. I really like how you have picked out lots of positive parts from this story. I think your comment on the area to improve is a great suggestion. Well done.
ruby
Jan 15, 2012 @ 12:58:23
Story 1
It is sooo amazing. It has lots of different openers . I think that martha has put soo
much efert in to it . She needs more full stops and commas.She has used
adjectives,
speach,
connectives,
exsitment,
badgerclass
Jan 15, 2012 @ 16:56:45
Thank you Ruby for such a positive comment. You have clearly read the story carefully in order to pick out all the features that were used. I agree that full stops should be added in order to improve the story- where would you put them?
Martha
Jan 15, 2012 @ 18:44:42
I like story 2. It is successful because it is exciting and interesting. It is exciting because there is a volcano and interesting because it is in the North Pole. I would like to hear more about the volcano erupting.
Lots of punctuation, speech marks and connectives used.
badgerclass
Jan 18, 2012 @ 13:11:21
Well done for finding lots of positives in this story. How could the writer describe the volcano erupting?
sh
Jan 16, 2012 @ 20:06:05
story 2
- Lots of good imagination.
- Lots of good describing words.
- Some sentences didn’t make sense.
badgerclass
Jan 18, 2012 @ 13:04:16
Well done for finding two positive parts to the story. Which sentences don’t make sense and how would you change them?
Luke
Jan 17, 2012 @ 17:49:45
Story 3:
This story has lots of Adjectives, different sentence openers and good punctuation. The story was exciting, interesting and I enjoyed reading it.
The comma in the last sentence didn’t need to be there.
Story 2:
Very good story with lots of speech to make it interesting. Lots of adjectives but some of the punctuation is missing. I liked the story.
badgerclass
Jan 18, 2012 @ 13:05:39
Well done for commenting on more than one of the stories and for keeping it positive. How would you change the stories if you could?
zh
Jan 17, 2012 @ 18:11:55
Dear Mrs.beckwith
I thought that Martha’s story was good and this is what it included.There were a few adjectives used in the sotry, including; ‘The ghost glimmered like a diamand’, and ‘The lion was scary and fierce’.
The story included good connectives and sentance openers. There were not many sub clauses and although the punction was good, there was a capital letter missing.
Martha could improve her stoy by using more adjectives, sub-clauses and watch for missing punction.
It was a good story which I enjoyed.
badgerclass
Jan 18, 2012 @ 13:06:51
What a thoughtful comment- you have clearly read the story very carefully. Where would you put the full stops and capital letters in your story?
harvey
Jan 17, 2012 @ 18:27:03
i liked the ghost story. i really liked it , it was really interesting. it could have had a bit more excitement in it. it could have been a bit scarier but i liked
badgerclass
Jan 18, 2012 @ 13:07:35
Well done for finding a story that you really enjoyed. How could you make it scarier?
Ethan h
Jan 18, 2012 @ 07:43:45
Story 1
A very interesting story, which had lots of adjectives.
After full stops you need capital letters, and there wasn’t enoujh commas.
badgerclass
Jan 18, 2012 @ 13:10:21
Yes, there are lots of adjectives in this story and I agree, there does need to be more full stops and capital letters. What else has this story included?
FHC
Jan 18, 2012 @ 15:55:35
good but could be inprooved slightly
badgerclass
Jan 18, 2012 @ 20:51:23
What is good about them and what could be improved?
Lily Hills
Jan 18, 2012 @ 16:05:42
Story 1:
I liked how the ghost was described like a ‘glimmering diamond’, good adjective and i also liked excitment when the ghost scared the dad by the cupboard.
The punctuation could be bit better in the story
Lily H
badgerclass
Jan 18, 2012 @ 20:53:26
Great comment Lily. I also really liked the simile which described the ghost. What punctuation would you add in and where?
Bow Bridger
Jan 18, 2012 @ 16:56:03
Story 1
I really liked Marthas story I think she put loads of effort into it, it has lots of adjectives, good connectives and different sentence openers. I think it needs full stops, commas and more capital letters. It was exciting and great to read.
Love Bow xx
badgerclass
Jan 18, 2012 @ 20:55:15
Lovely comment Bow. I really liked Martha’s story too and I agree with your comment about the amount of adjectives and sentence openers. Where would you put the full stops and capital letters?
lewis
Jan 18, 2012 @ 18:27:36
story 1 there were speech in ruby’s story and puntuation.I think she shoud have more.
badgerclass
Jan 18, 2012 @ 20:55:46
Thank you for commenting Lewis. What would you like to see more of?
JP
Jan 19, 2012 @ 16:11:18
Story 2.
Need to read through because the location was a bit muddled.
Quite a lot of adjectives.
A good amount of excitement.
badgerclass
Jan 19, 2012 @ 16:23:08
Thank you for finding two positive parts to the story Jensen. What made you choose to comment on this one and how would you sort the problem of the muddled location?